Vulnerability
What
vulnerability means to me is being as honest and authentic as possible. I feel
honesty and vulnerability are very similar values because when we're the most
honest we show vulnerability and when we're the most vulnerable we tend to be
the most honest and authentic. For me, I can’t help but be vulnerable because
when I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable I feel I am free, free to be what I
want to be. The thing about vulnerability is it takes courage to be vulnerable
because it is much easier to lie and hide from the world than to stand up and
be seen, show the world who we really are.
The
reason many won’t allow themselves to be truly vulnerable is because we all
have that voice in the back of our mind that tells us that people won’t
understand, people will criticize us, people will think we're weird, the list of
all the reasons why we shouldn’t be vulnerable and hide who we really are from
the world is endless. The reason I have a YouTube channel called
“Earthangelrosa” is because I refuse to hide who I am from the world anymore.
Even though many might not understand what I’m saying, my ideas, or me, I
don’t do it for them I do it for me. I do it because the real me, the one that
I refused to let shine through 100% of the time during high school because of
my fear of being looked at as the odd girl needed to be released. The real authentic me was like a shaken up coca cola can that needed to burst.
When
the real me finally burst through that heavy layer of self judgment, self
doubt, fears of being misunderstood, and fears of being different, standing out
happened and all that junk that weighed me down and kept me from reaching my
highest potential lifted. I discovered I am the best version of me when I’m the most
vulnerable and authentic. Being vulnerable and authentic means I don’t care
what people have to say about me, think about me, because their opinions don’t
matter. The only thing that matters is that I’m free, free to be who I really
am, and that I am happy doing it.
Sometimes those voices pop up in my mind telling me that I shouldn’t say the things I do on my YouTube channel because many will not understand what I’m saying. When those voices do pop up in my mind I tell myself that I post those discussions on my YouTube channel anyways to prove to myself that I am fearless, bold, and confident, and that I refuse to be the girl who fears others will think she’s weird. The truth is being weird, different, unorthodox, are what makes people courageous because the ones considered weird, different, unorthodox seems to be the most real and enlightened people.
Sometimes it can be hard to be 100% honest because in those moments of true honesty and expressing
deep/intense feelings, I can feel as though I could easily be hurt by the one I’m
being honest with because most of the time the one I’m being 100% honest with can’t
handle the honesty and runs and hides from it, leaving me feeling left out in the cold. The truth can be harder to soak in
than a lie. A lie is easy to swallow because most of the time the lie is something
we want to hear, or something that makes us feel comfortable, is in our comfortable
zone. The truth can tear our world apart, shake us up, and destroy what we thought
to be true and replaces it with something else entirely, something that makes us
feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.
When we're vulnerable we have to realize that not everyone will understand or even accept us because most of the world would prefer to fit in and be anyone but their true self. Being vulnerable is like being a rebel because we have to constantly battle with our self to stay that way and to not allow other judgments from stealing our ability to be vulnerable and authentic. There are a lot of people out in the world that would rather us be shy, stay to our self, and be fearful, than to be authentic and real.
When we're vulnerable we have to realize that not everyone will understand or even accept us because most of the world would prefer to fit in and be anyone but their true self. Being vulnerable is like being a rebel because we have to constantly battle with our self to stay that way and to not allow other judgments from stealing our ability to be vulnerable and authentic. There are a lot of people out in the world that would rather us be shy, stay to our self, and be fearful, than to be authentic and real.
